An ordeal with mortality

One day... I lost all will to live...

For my own reasons,

I decided that I wanted to die...

I went to the roof of the 9-storied apartment complex, stood on the edge, and was ready to jump

I mustered up all my remaining courage...

My life swept past me...

"I am ready!" I thought to myself...

But at that exact moment, something happened...

I went into a limbo of sorts

I felt as if I was standing on the line between life and death...

I suddenly felt light

I felt as if I was "nothing"...

Neither dead nor alive...

The decision was looming whether to live on or die here...

But what would change if I did?

I received the answer that it would change nothing...

My loved ones will miss me for some time...

But it will soon revert back to however everything was...

But it would surely destroy me and everything I have ever stood for...

I slowly stepped back...

I realized something...

...

I realized that it doesn't matter...

All our mental troubles and worries...

They don't really mean anything... unless we want them to

With this new clarity, I came back to myself...

I suddenly felt like I knew what this life is about.. and what was causing me to suffer

It was my own mind...

An instrument capable of the best or the worst things

...

At that moment, there was peace...

Silence...

Not a single thought...

Whatever was troubling me...

It suddenly didn't matter anymore...

I realized I have been my own worst enemy...

...

And that it has always been my own responsibility to overcome this one true enemy... the shadow side of me